Friend of the Heart
By guest author, Jong-Won Choi
This is the seventh piece meant to introduce our readers to participants in our ordination preparation course at The Seminary of the Christian Community in North America. Each one will contemplate a work – or works – of art that speak to their path and Christ’s working in the world in some way. We have heard from Victoria Capon, Jeana Lee, Mimi Coleman, Lesley Waite, Elizabeth Majoros and Kate Kennedy. Today we introduce you to Jong-Won Choi.
“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father…”
Matthew 6:6
Dear Friends,
I would like to share with you some writings, or rather some notes from inner hearing, of Claire Blatchford. They are published in two books titled Turning, – words heard from within and Friend of My Heart, – meeting Christ in everyday life. In these books, Claire shares with us, sometimes in the most simple, direct, and clear words, sometimes in beautiful poetic paintings, her inner experiences of someone whom she calls “the Friend of my heart,” and the words she has received inwardly from him. Before we move on, I think it is worthwhile to take some time to look at the cover page of Friend of My Heart, because I think that it captures the quality of the gift we can receive from these books — such comfort, such joy, such love… I don’t see the need to add any more words about this art piece, as the art speaks very well for itself.
“God Creating Adam” from Chartres Cathedral, the north portal, 13th century, taken from the cover of Claire Blatchford’s book.
In these two books, Claire shares her inner experiences of turning toward him, meeting him, hearing him, actively seeking and listening to him, rejoicing in him and with him, and loving him. She even shares her experience of bearing with the silence of him and refinding him. In a way, it’s a story of her friendship with “the Friend” of her heart. The words are rooted in the deep ground of divine love. Therefore, they both anchor us to the depths and lift us to the heights — yet they place us firmly on the earth, in the details of our daily lives.
For over ten years, these books have been my soul’s companion. As it is often the case with many others who keep these books close by and open them (often at random), I often find, in these books, exactly what I need to hear in that moment, whether it is about calmness, courage, comfort, joy, security, hope, relaxation, or even some laughter. The words Claire heard from within were expressed in such a way that they feel intimate to my own heart and resonate with the power of truth within my soul. Through those years during which my life was accompanied by these books daily, I believe that, without realizing it, I was encouraged to enter into a relationship with the Being who is, or can become, the Friend of every heart.
Then, who is “the Friend of My Heart?” and how can we meet him, hear him, and have a friendship with him? According to Claire, he is the one who says, “I AM right here, longing to work, play, listen and love through you.” and he is here and wants a direct relationship with us—but, much of the time, we are elsewhere, preoccupied with thoughts, regrets, doubts, worries, fears, and ambitions. Claire points out that we need to enter into silence, into the central core of ourselves so that we can turn towards him in complete openness. I think that this “turning” is most essential if we want to hear his voice within ourselves. For that “turning,” we need to go into our innermost chamber, alone, and close the door. He will come to meet us then, to the degree that we move towards him. He awaits our turning to him.
One may wonder, “Does he also speak to me?” “Can I also see or hear him?” Somewhere in her book, while she describes her “seeing” the Friend of her heart, Claire says that her seeing was with her inner eyes. It was a form of light, but she felt it more than she saw it with her eyes. If we are expecting to hear or see or sense in a physical form, I don’t think we would find the Friend of our hearts; it will be through our inner ears and eyes, something similar to hearing or seeing but not quite the same. It may be perceived in the form of something similar to thoughts or feelings, I think, and because our expectations around this matter are so fixed in the physical realm, we may think that they are our own thoughts and feelings. I believe that we may have had some experiences of this kind already without being aware of it, or at least, we may be nearer to this kind of inner hearing, seeing or sensing than we think. We can only cultivate this further through continuous turning.
I had an interesting experience while I was reading through these books again to select a few good excerpts to share with you. Somehow the words did not have the full power they had before. I realized later that it was because I had not done “going into my room and closing the door” properly. I had an outer need in mind, and therefore the streams of breathing between myself and the words remained shallow. I learned that what matters is not collecting many wonderful quotes that may or may not be meaningful or may even be boring. What matters is truly owning something, even if it is just one sentence or even one word, experiencing it fully. So, I stopped reading-through. I gave up choosing a few nice ones for you. So, I am going to share with you some of the verses I visited most often in the past with the hope that they might speak to your heart. Here they are:
The king — the voice of the highest — is within your heart.
*******
Love calls to love
If you truly long to know me in every way
Then look for me
In everyone and everything you see.
I am in every person
Though that person may not know it,
Though I may be buried deep.
But look for me in every person
And help me to be seen.
Only love can see me
And can help me to come forth and shine
For I am love
Love calls to love.
*******
Breathe in the light of truth
Breathe out the light of love
Truth from without.
Love from within.
*******
True courage
You are learning
What true courage is:
It is facing the unknown
With trust in me.
Think how the Vikings sailed off
Over the great ocean
With no idea where they were going,
What they might find,
Whether they could return or die.
Their courage protected them
And led them to land.
Yes, they had an idea, a longing
For what they hoped to find;
But first came the courage,
The leap into the unknown.
Courage is what I give you
When you have true faith in me.
Courage is the inner light
That burns, though all outside appears dark and threatening.
Courage silences the questioning mind,
The beating heart.
Strengthen your courage
By following it,
Believing in it,
Giving thanks for it.
It is I in you
Guiding you into the unknown.
*******
The goal
Wisdom translated into will,
Into action, into creation:
That is the highest goal.
That is the goal.
The author, Jong-Won Choi
Jong-Won Choi was born and raised in South Korea, studied education at Seoul National University, and taught social studies in Seoul before she came to the U.S. with her two daughters for Waldorf teacher training. Having discovered the art of Eurythmy during the teacher training, she ended up studying Eurythmy at the Rudolf Steiner College in Fair Oaks, CA. Upon graduation, she moved to NY to teach eurythmy at Hawthorne Valley School, where she enjoyed teaching for seven years before she came to the seminary.
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